My mom is newly retired. She is figuring out the rhythms of her new lifestyle, the pros and the cons. The ultimate extrovert, her social calendar is packed with lunch dates, trips, Bible studies and book clubs (yes, plural). She has way more friends than I do, so her dance card is always full.
Mom is creating her own fun. A prime example: earlier this month, my parents hosted a Downton Abbey premiere party. The woman made Yorkshire pudding. There was tea, obviously. All their guests had a fabulous time. I am totally jealous I wasn’t invited. But I digress…
She spent the other day with a dear friend. They went shopping and out to lunch. I guess my mom treated her to some special items along the way. At the end of their time together, this friend told her: “Patti, you spoiled me like my mother.”
My mom shared the comment with me because it was like a hug to her heart. She could relate to it completely. Like her friend, she also had a gracious, beloved mama no longer living. The simple statement of gratitude stirred up cherished memories and a familiar ache of longing. I’m not sure you could receive a sweeter “thank you.”
Her comment has bounced around in my head this past week. Here’s the nugget of truth that life confirms over and over again:
Nobody spoils you like your mama.
I certainly can relate. My mother spoils me rotten. Yes, rotten. The many instances of her lavish praise and generosity could fill up the thickest of volumes in a very large library. She doesn’t think twice before sacrificing her time, energy or convenience for my sake. Sometimes it’s almost over the top the lengths this woman will go to in order to make my life better. To bring me a little delight or relief or peace. There are just too many examples of her thoughtfulness and above-and-beyond-ness to even detail, so you’ll have to take my word for it.
This kind of extravagant, giving-of-oneself type of love is in a class of its own. It can’t be duplicated. If you try to coax it out of other relationships, you’ll often be disappointed.
Don’t expect your husband to affirm you and spoil you like your mama. Don’t expect your husband to split the price of that ridiculous luxury handbag that you’ve been eyeing at the outlet mall “just because.” Don’t expect your husband to deliver a feast of comfort food to your door on a random Wednesday night because you’re having a stressful week. And don’t expect him to eagerly jump at the chance to watch the sick baby for hours on his own so you can go get a pedicure and catch up with your girlfriend.
Your husband can treat you very well, of course. My husband can bust out a good surprise or act of selfless service every once in a while, and sometimes on a regular basis. But when it comes to spoiling? Ladies, nobody spoils you like your mama.
In big and small ways, mothers intuitively know just want to do or say to make your world a bit brighter. Your mother has seen you at your very meanest and ugliest, yet still treats you like a treasure. She is simply there for you. And if she’s not here any longer (as in my mother’s case), she was there. Unconditionally. She was there for you no matter what. There, ready to go to the ends of the earth to love you well.
My favorite word to describe a mother’s love? Lavish.
You rarely hear that word in everyday life. The adjective means “sumptuously rich, elaborate or luxurious.” The verb means “to bestow something in generous or extravagant quantities upon.” For me, the word evokes an undeserved generosity. I don’t think of lavish parties or piles of money. I imagine the giving of the most precious things: time, presence and pure love.
The word “lavish” is found twice in the New Testament NIV translation:
Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us.
1 John 3:1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
Most of us can relate to the immense amount of love received in the special relationship between a parent and a child. The abundance of it, the sacrifice of it. That bond that can’t adequately be measured or put into words.
The picture of a parental love relationship is a helpful starting point when trying to grasp the depth of God’s love for us. Take the warm feelings you have toward your own parent or child and multiply by infinity. God lavishes benefits and blessings on His children like only He can. He has no earthly counterpart, yet the Bible repeatedly calls on this parent-child relationship parallel to get us closer to understanding just how crazy He is about us. How good and gracious He is to us. How lavish.
Luke 11: 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Newsflash: Mom can’t compete with the Lord’s love for you, even on her best day. Yet, she is one of His good gifts to you. Yep, He’s lavish like that. He has placed different people in your life for distinct purposes. Some to build you up and make you strong. Some to keep you sane… or grounded… or on your toes.
But moms? Well, I believe God created moms to spoil us. To spoil us and give us a soul-heartening glimpse of what lavish love really looks like. To point us to Him, so that we might receive His unmerited favor and very best gifts.
Sarah Weller 