It’s a trap as old as time: us modern people thinking we’re so much different, so much more advanced, than ancient people back in primitive civilizations.
It’s easy to let this way of thinking pervade my reading of the Bible. It’s easy to be up on my 21st century high horse and dismiss some of the circumstances and characters as irrelevant.
And then you meet someone like Hannah. Have you met her?
Honestly, before this weekend when I heard Christian author and speaker Beth Moore briefly mention her at a women’s event, I hadn’t. I knew Hannah was a Biblical name, but if you would have asked me where she showed up or what her claim to fame was, I wouldn’t have had a clue.
Turns out, Hannah has a lot in common with many women I know. Her story provides important reminders that modern mothers need to hear and apply. When I read about her in 1 Samuel (not a book I spend a lot of time in), I was struck by her honesty, boldness and unflinching trust in God’s sovereignty.
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Let’s back up. We need to know about Hannah’s pre-mama days first to fully appreciate the lessons her life teaches us.
Hannah was a wife who desperately wanted to be a mother. Her husband, Elkanah, had another wife, Peninnah, who was quite the fertile Myrtle. Not so for Hannah; 1 Samuel 1:5 says “the Lord had closed her womb.” To make things even harder, Peninnah gave her grief about being barren… (side note: the Bible repeatedly makes a strong case for why polygamy is a bad idea). Peninnah’s harassment and Hannah’s infertility “went on year after year” (verse 7).
She felt like a failure. Over the course of the first chapter of 1 Samuel, the following phrases describe Hannah related to her barrenness:
Verse 8: Her husband asks, “Why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted?”
Verse 10: “In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord”
Verse 15: “I am a woman who is deeply troubled….I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.”
Verse 16: “I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
Many women today can relate to Hannah’s struggle with infertility. The waiting, the wondering, the weeping. It was as hard on a woman’s heart back then as it can be now, whether it’s unexplained or expected.
Fertility and/or infertility is a part of a woman’s life that reminds her that she is not in control. While we can manipulate and maneuver so many circumstances in our lives, negotiating the results we desire, this is one area ultimately out of our hands. Above our pay grade.
A baby is a gift from God. And a gift is not earned or achieved. Not deserved. Even with all our reproductive technology, God still is the Giver of Life—and we can’t force his hand.
When we come to the end of ourselves, when we can do absolutely nothing to change something, we can feel frustrated and despondent. Hannah was experiencing that hopelessness, and the sorrow was all-consuming.
Lesson 1: Pour it out.
The first lesson we learn from her life is what she did with her sadness. She didn’t hold it back, but she channeled it. Hannah took her heart’s desire to the one place where change might—just might—be possible. A person who would receive it with wisdom and love.
She went to the house of the Lord to pour out her soul (verses 7,10-13).
This is a great example for us. Over the course of a day, my heart fills up to the brim with happy moments and hurts and gratitude and annoyances. Sometimes I can make it to bedtime, carrying them all. But sometimes, even by midday, the weight of my concerns or the effervescence of my joys are too much to keep inside. I need to pour them out.
Sometimes talking to friends or a spouse is an appropriate avenue. But these people don’t know you like God knows you, and they sure don’t have his divine big picture view. I think it’s better to turn to these loved ones after you’ve laid it down at His feet.
Her prayers were honest and direct. They were soaked in tears.
They were heard.
Lesson 2: Children are gifts… on loan.
“Hannah made a vow, saying, “O Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life.” (1 Samuel 1:11)
In fervent prayer, Hannah made a promise to the Lord. When she said “giving him to the Lord for all the days of his life,” she meant for this child to literally grow up in the house of the Lord. Her son would live and serve in the tabernacle with the priests, not in the family home. This would not be a typical childhood and it certainly wouldn’t be an ideal arrangement for a mother who so desperately wanted a child. Right?
God gave Hannah a son and she named him Samuel, which means “Because I asked the Lord for him” (verse 20).
I can’t imagine Hannah’s joy and relief. It probably seemed like a terrible spell had been lifted, like a thick chain had been broken. God had finally heard her! Her womb was opened! A son!
Even when she wanted to snuggle him forever and never let him go, the promise still stood.
“After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the Lord, and he will live there always,” Hannah says to her husband in verse 22.
It must have felt like the clock was ticking. Hannah knew her time to be close and present and influential in Samuel’s life was short. Eventually, she would hand him over to the Lord. In this context, that meant a life of service to God in the temple. Mostly away from her.
And then, from verses 24 to 28, she does the thing.
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” (verses 27 & 28)
Friends with children, do these beautiful words from Hannah resonate with you, too? Did you pray for a child before, during and after pregnancy? Do you sometimes catch yourself staring at your child, thinking “How did you get here?!” The miracle of their existence. The marvel at their development! Oh, and those exquisite little hands and feet and giggles.
In many ways, Hannah’s pregnancy was no different than any other. It was hard-fought. It was a miracle. But we know it came as a blinding light at the end of a dark, long-suffering tunnel. Knowing her backstory makes what she does all the more amazing and heart-wrenching.
She finally gets the gift… only to give it back. Hannah’s story highlights a timeless reality of motherhood: They don’t belong to us.
Children are gifts, no doubt about it. But they are gifts on loan from the Lord.
Now, telling a fiercely protective mama that her baby is not her own is not exactly a popular message. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, and it’s unabashedly counter-cultural.
My son is entrusted to me, but he is not ultimately mine.
Whether you acknowledge this truth early on in your child’s life, like Hannah did, or much later on, no amount of fighting, hovering or micromanaging can change the fact that we all must eventually let go. They are going to mature and gain independence. It is going to happen. Resistance is futile… and not helpful.
Here’s why I’m OK with this:
I can’t protect him like He can.
I can’t guide him like He can.
I can’t discipline him like He can.
I can’t love him like He can.
Lesson 3: Your child is better off in God’s hands than your hands.
Have you handed your child’s life over to God? Their well-being. Their safety. Their relationships. Their talents and vocation. I try to remember to pray for Luke’s future spouse.
And it’s not a one-and-done kind of concept; “handing over” is a process. As ages and stages come and go, it’s something we must do over and over again. With my lack of experience, I can’t say if it gets easier.
I pour these things out to the Lord—a mama’s checklist for her baby—because I know my son is better off in His hands than mine. And, like any mother—in ancient Israel or modern-day Omaha—I want what’s best for my child.
God is the ultimate in power, wisdom and security. So that’s where I want my child to be!
He’s also the definition of love. Sisters, I know we love our little ones. We bristle at the idea that we can’t give them the utmost in love. But, look, I know myself. You know yourself. My love fails all the time. It breaks down. It ebbs and flows. (Just ask my husband, parents and closest friends). God’s love is unfailing. (Scripture says so 40+ times).
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Hannah’s story revolves around a child. But the truths here apply to every human being who wants to be in control of their lives. Every man, woman and child on earth struggles to make peace with the fact that there is a God and we are not Him.
Maybe the gift on loan to you is your talent or your relationship. Maybe you need to hand over your career, your leisure time or your finances.
We all face circumstances where we have the choice to live with clinched fists or open hands.
Choose to trust Him with your precious hopes… just like Hannah did. His plans are good, his hands are mighty and He does not disappoint.
Sarah Weller 