Are you happy, Mommy?

“Are you happy, Mommy?”

Just typing those words puts a smile on my face. This is THE question being asked at our house these days. Luke has stumbled on the concept of emotions and he’s fallen hard. He always wants to know how we’re feeling and why—an emotional play-by-play. He’s also not shy about sharing his feelings with us; “I’m mad” seems to be a favorite.

Per usual with toddlers, his timing is incredibly random. I’ll be in the middle of something really mundane, like cooking dinner or changing his diaper, when his earnest voice inquires, “Are you happy, Mommy?” Ninety percent of the time, I answer “Yes” or “Of course, I’m happy! I love being your mommy.”

When his question lands during a period of disobedience, I don’t hold back: “No, I’m not happy. I asked you to clean up your toys and you didn’t.” Or “No, I made you this nice meal and you haven’t taken one bite.” (This happens a lot). A minute later? “Mommy sad,” he explains, as if to an invisible audience.

This new phenomenon extends to inanimate objects, too. We’ll be playing with plastic trucks and he’ll say “He’s sad, Mommy” out of the blue. “Why is he sad, Luke?” “He’s sad,” he’ll repeat matter-of-factly. Well, okay then. He seems to be of the Bob Ross school of thought; there really is such a thing as a happy tree, a happy rock or an angry stuffed dinosaur.

I’m curious if others have experienced this same behavior. Maybe this is a typical developmental milestone that hits around 2 ½. I also want to capture this moment in time in writing—a snapshot of my little one’s blossoming sense of self—so I will remember this interesting phase in the future.

It’s like he’s constantly taking my emotional temperature, and honestly, it does serve as a good attitude check for me. A pause for gratitude and celebration of who he’s becoming and who I’ve become. After all, these precious days of innocence and wonder are finite and should be savored.

When Luke asks me if I’m happy, I’m reminded I really am. And I want him to know it. I want him to know me as a happy woman with a thankful, peaceful heart. That’s not always who I am, but it’s who I aspire to be.

The truth is being his mother has deepened every single emotion I have. Happy things are happier and sad things are sadder. Anger and fear wait in the wings like never before, ready to make a scene. And there’s definitely more gray and less black and white. All this, and I’m not even three years in!

Both of us are evolving. The mother/child relationship changes everything it touches. It’s an adventure and an education, and, no doubt, there is much happiness that awaits us.