5 Things to Do When the Waiting is Hard

Lately, I feel like I’ve been in a holding pattern. As I look at my prayer life—what I’m praying for myself, for those I love and on a global scale—there is a theme of waiting. These aren’t one-and-done prayers; they are long-term and, at the risk of sounding melodramatic, long-suffering.

Waiting. Waiting for doors to open or doors to close. Waiting for resolution, answers, movement. Trying to eke out an epiphany or steal a glimpse of direction.

What person, place or thing do you keep taking to the Lord in prayer? Over and over and over again?

When you bring Jesus the same subject for a long time (maybe days, weeks or years), you can get so tired and discouraged. This is fertile ground for Satan to sow seeds of doubt, boredom and apathy.

I know this… so the communicator, the creative type in me tries to keep it interesting, approaching my situation from different angles: theological, emotional and social. (This is more for me than God.) But at the core, the petition can feel repetitious: How long, O Lord?

If you’ve found yourself asking the Lord, “How long?,”you’re in good company. David, “a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14; Acts 13:22),” used the phrase at least 10 times in the book of Psalms.

“My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?” – Psalm 6:3

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?” -Psalm 13:1-2

“How long, Lord, will you look on?” – Psalm 35:17

And I like this one from Habakkuk, too. “How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?”

I love that the Bible gives us these examples of waiting on the Lord. They remind us we’re not alone in the unknowing. That, in itself, is assuring. On the flip side, they also give us a model of perseverance in prayer.

This past Sunday I was reminded that it is in the waiting, in the wilderness, that we grow. Pastor Deena said that this “is the boot camp of our faith where spiritual muscle is formed.” Just like nobody ever got a six-pack by lying on the couch, so nobody ever gets spiritually strong by getting their every wish and whim satisfied at drive-thru service speed by some divine yes-man. That’s not how this thing works. No, spiritual maturity is forged in the unresolved limbo of life.

These verses can buoy our spirits as we wait:

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:3-5

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” – James 1:2-4

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23

These verses imbue us with strength for the journey; they calm the anxiety of the unknowing, the roar of the silence.

At the same time, you have to watch out for any sense of faux-righteousness or martyr vibe when you apply them to yourself. Or at least I do. Prideful creatures that we are, it’s easy to start congratulating ourselves on how patiently pious we’ve been. Our heart attitude should focus on God’s faithfulness to us versus our own faith in the waiting.

So let’s get practical. Here are some things to do and consider in the waiting. They might not comfort you, but they could keep you going.

1) Stop and remember.
When you’re waiting, it’s all about the future. It’s about the unknown. So flip the script. Look back in the rearview mirror at what you do know, what has come and gone. Remember a time or two when God was faithful in bringing you out of a patch of wilderness in the past. How did he sort things out or clear things up?

I’m not talking about broad strokes here. Write down or reflect on specific instances where you felt just like you feel now—like the holding pattern will never end—and recount how the Lord led you through. This remembering gives me confidence for the future. Sure, my circumstances have changed… but God hasn’t.

2) Embrace the ugly and the honest.
It’s hard to make prayers nice and pretty when you’re sick of saying them. No pageant prayers! Stop trying to filter yourself or make them longer than they need to be. God’s will is not subject to word count.

Similarly, don’t sugarcoat your disillusionment, impatience or heartache. Cry an ugly, bitter cry. Shake your fists. It’s OK if you sound like a petulant child or Debbie Downer. He can take it.

3) You aren’t the only one waiting.
But whatever you do, do not stop talking to God. Don’t get disconnected; keep Him on the line. Here’s why: we are so very vulnerable in the waiting. I almost get a shiver in my soul as I type that because I am keenly aware of my vulnerability when my faith gets antsy.

Peter knew what was up when he said that Satan is prowling around like a lion (1 Peter 5:8), waiting to devour us. Waiting. He longs to pounce on prey that is frustrated and fatigued. He wants to exploit your hurt and devour your joy.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you and God are the only ones in the waiting.

4) Read the Psalms.
Spend some time in this book. You will not regret it. Roam from page to page until you find something that resonates. Something will. The words are song lyrics, and, like most great lyrics, they are intensely human and emotive. They explore the depth of the human experience, the desires of our hearts.

If nothing else, the words are really beautiful. Immersing yourself in beauty bigger than you is always a good idea.

Timothy Keller writes: “The Psalms are not just a matchless primer of teaching but a medicine chest for the heart and the best possible guide for practical living.”

Take this medicine at least once daily.

5) Stay active.
This one might not strike you as especially spiritual, but I think it can be. Keep moving and doing and living. Not every lane of your life is held up. There’s work to do and people to love, so don’t waste the waiting.

While you’re in a holding pattern in your love life, maybe it’s time for your relationship with Jesus to kick into a higher gear. Waiting on professional direction? Why not invest in your personal life in the meantime?

Perhaps, in the waiting, God turns our attention to other parts of our being that we’ve been neglecting. A season of waiting in one area of your life can be a season of action in another, so stay active and alert to His purposes. They might not be the ones you’re initially drawn to or concerned about.

I’ll close with a thought shared by Becky, a gifted BSF teaching leader, several years ago. It’s stuck with me because we always think of waiting as a passive thing. Twiddling our thumbs. Nothing to be done. Not so, she suggests.

“Prayer is the important activity of waiting.”