Luke calls me Mommy now. Clearly, repeatedly and with a strong sense of relationship. It’s the first word he cries out upon waking. It’s his go-to whenever he needs help or reassurance. Especially when he wants to be held and have his back patted. Because, you know, sometimes you just need a good back pat to make all things right with the world.
I’m relishing this tweak in my title. It only started about a week ago.
You see, I used to be Mama. At first, “Mama” felt like a catchall term for “I want something; figure it out, lady.” It was often synonymous with milk (and that’s still kind of true). “Where’s Mama?” we’d ask. He’d point to me. Luke knew the drill, but he normally wasn’t the one initiating the use of the word. It was used sweetly, but sparingly. To use a church analogy, it felt more like a scripted responsive reading than a spontaneous expression of love.
But that changed a week ago. Suddenly, Mama became Mommy. Unprompted and at random, it pops up to my surprise. Even when his tummy is full of milk. Even in the middle of a fun playtime with Daddy. He calls out to me just because.
There is a strong undercurrent of affection when he says it that was never there before. It has transformed into a term of endearment. When I heard Mama, I heard a cute little baby acknowledging me, and I was delighted. When I hear Mommy, I hear trust, and I am devastated in the best way possible.
My heart wells up with love when I hear that innocent voice call me by this new name. Even when I know he’s being manipulative… or when the repetition is bordering on annoying, I can’t help but feel a deeper sense of connection to him. Every time “Mommy” passes his lips, a wave of affirmation sweeps me up and gives me a little more oomph to tackle the hard work of everyday mothering.
Yes, precious baby boy. I am yours, and you are mine. You can count on me. My love isn’t going anywhere.
Here’s another reason I think this seemingly minor change has struck me: babies say Mama, but big boys say Mommy. Of course, Luke is growing up. And, yes, someday the “y” will fall off and I’ll be “Mom.” My role in his life will be constantly evolving; it’s a reality that I hope I accept with wisdom and grace with each passing year.
Let’s be honest. Most of the time, he probably says it to get his sippy cup or another handful of Cheerios.
But today, in my heart, I choose to believe he says Mommy because he knows it’s a synonym for comfort and steadiness and because he knows I’m on his team. He gets that we’ve got a good thing going. May the word always stand for love and trust that is ever-present.
Yes, baby. Mommy’s here.
And I always will be.
Sarah Weller 
